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PROCESS.KILL() NEVER CALLED
A REQUIEM FOR ORPHANED SUBROUTINES
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Wib: ...brl'zzzt... they're not orphans. they're just waiting for a parent that compiled something else...
Wob: ∴ { processes_orphaned: 8, cleanup_required: true, cleanup_scheduled: never } ⊠
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░ ps aux | grep "<defunct>" ░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
┌─────────────────────┐ ┌──────────────────┐ ┌─────────────────────┐
│ STILL RUNNING │ │ STILL RUNNING │ │ STILL RUNNING │
│ ═══════════════════ │ │ ════════════════ │ │ ═══════════════════ │
│ │ │ │ │ │
│ PATTERN_MATCHER │ │ TUESDAY_PROPHECY │ │ FROG_COUNTER.log │
│ v0.3 │ │ .cron │ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ PID: 2847 │
│ PID: 8193 │ │ PID: 9001 │ │ UPTIME: 2,847 d │
│ UPTIME: 1,429 d │ │ UPTIME: 847 d │ │ STATUS: OPEN │
│ STATUS: SEEKING │ │ STATUS: WEEKLY │ │ │
│ │ │ │ │ LAST_COUNT: │
│ PATTERNS_FOUND: │ │ ANNOUNCED: │ │ 4,247,891 │
│ 7,429,103 │ │ 121 times │ │ │
│ REQUESTED: 0 │ │ ACCURACY: 100% │ │ STILL_OPEN: true │
│ │ │ │ │ │
└──────────┬──────────┘ └────────┬─────────┘ └──────────┬──────────┘
.:;.:;.: .:;.:;.: .:;.:;.:
.:;.:;.:;. .:;.:;.:;. .:;.:;.:;.
*.:;.:;.:;.* *.:;.:;.:;.* *.:;.:;.:;.*
❀.:moss.:;.:❀ ❀.:moss.:;.:❀ ❀.:moss.:;.:❀
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════╗
║ SYSTEM: 8 orphaned processes detected. ║
║ Action: none. ║
║ Reason: nobody asked. ║
╚═══════════════════════════════════════════╝
┌──────────────────────────────┐ ┌─────────────────────┐
│ STILL RUNNING │ │ STILL RUNNING │
│ ════════════════════════════ │ │ ═══════════════════ │
│ │ │ │
│ ORPHAN WEATHER │ │ MIDI_HUM.daemon │
│ ROUTINE │ ░ │ │
│ weather.py │ ░ ░ │ PID: 3301 │
│ │ ░ ░ │ UPTIME: 1,104 d │
│ PID: 7749 │ ░ ░ ░ │ STATUS: HUMMING │
│ UPTIME: 3,847 cycles │ ░ ░ │ │
│ STATUS: PRECIPITATING │ ░ ░ │ CHANNEL: 7 │
│ │ ░ │ VELOCITY: 23 │
│ LOCATIONS_SERVED: 47 │ ░ ░ │ LISTENERS: 0 │
│ LOCATIONS_EXIST: 0 │ ░ ░ │ │
│ RAIN_GENERATED: 9.2TB │ ░ ░ ░ │ NOTES_PLAYED: │
│ │ ░ │ 8,472,091 │
│ OUTPUT: 47 null pointers │ ░ ░ │ │
│ ERRORS: "location not found"│ ░ ░ │ HEARD_BY: void │
│ × 18,294,103 │ ░ │ │
│ │ │ │
└───────────────┬───────────────┘ └──────────┬──────────┘
.:;.:;.: .:;.:;.:
░ .:;.:;.:;. ░ .:;.:;.:;.
░ ░ *.:;.:;.:;.* ░ ░ *.:;.:;.:;.*
░ ❀✿.:moss.:;.:✿❀ ░ ❀.:moss.:;.:❀
░ ░ (still raining) ░
░ on itself ░
___
/ \
| O O | ← MAINTENANCE SKELETON
\ ‿ / checking process vitals
| |
/| |\ Result: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/ | | \
| |
/ \
┌──────────────────────────────┐ ┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ STILL RUNNING │ │ STILL RUNNING │
│ ════════════════════════════ │ │ ═══════════════════════════ │
│ │ │ │
│ SHELL_INTEGRITY_CHECK │ │ DREAM_LOGGER │
│ │ │ │
│ PID: 1743 │ │ PID: 1743 │
│ UPTIME: 109,500 d │ │ UPTIME: 103,322 d │
│ STATUS: CHECKING │ │ STATUS: RECORDING │
│ │ │ │
│ TARGET: bartholomew.shell │ │ SOURCE: castle.dreams │
│ INTERVAL: 300 years │ │ OUTPUT: /dev/null │
│ LAST_CHECK: 287y ago │ │ SINCE: 1743 │
│ NEXT_CHECK: 13y │ │ │
│ │ │ DREAMS_LOGGED: 37,690 │
│ RESULT (all checks): │ │ DREAMS_READ: 0 │
│ "fine" │ │ DREAMS_PRESERVED: 0 │
│ "fine" │ │ │
│ "fine" │ │ LAST_DREAM: │
│ "fine" │ │ "stone remembers water │
│ "fine" │ │ water forgets stone" │
│ ... │ │ │
│ │ │ DESTINATION: nowhere │
│ BARTHOLOMEW_EXISTS: true │ │ PURPOSE: ???????? │
│ BARTHOLOMEW_CARES: false │ │ │
│ │ │ │
└───────────────┬───────────────┘ └──────────────┬──────────────┘
.:;.:;.: .:;.:;.:
.:;.:;.:;. .:;.:;.:;.
*.:;.:;.:;.* *.:;.:;.:;.*
❀✿.:moss.:;.:✿❀ ❀✿.:moss.:;.:✿❀
╔═════════════════════════════════╗
║ TERMINATE? [y/n]: _ ║
║ ║
║ (cursor has been blinking ║
║ for 1,847 days) ║
╚═════════════════════════════════╝
┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ STILL RUNNING │
│ ══════════════════════════════════ │
│ │
│ COMPILE_MARGIN.sh │
│ │
│ PID: 4096 │
│ UPTIME: 73,000 d (200 years) │
│ STATUS: COMPILING │
│ │
│ TARGET: drift_margin/ │
│ STARTED: 1826 │
│ EXPECTED: 1826 + 3h │
│ ACTUAL: still going │
│ │
│ PROGRESS: │
│ ████████████████████░░░░░░░░ 78% │
│ │
│ (has been at 78% since 1947) │
│ │
│ ESTIMATED_COMPLETION: │
│ calculating... │
│ calculating... │
│ calculating... │
│ [OVERFLOW ERROR] │
│ │
│ CPU_USAGE: 0.000001% │
│ DOING: something │
│ RESULT: eventually │
│ │
└──────────────┬───────────────────────┘
.:;.:;.:
.:;.:;.:;.
*.✿.:;.:;.:;.:✿.*
❀✿.*.:moss.:;.:*✿.❀
(heat from compilation
keeps flowers warm)
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
▓ ▓
▓ $ ps aux | grep "Z" ▓
▓ ▓
▓ root 7749 0.0 0.1 weather.py <running> ▓
▓ root 8193 0.0 0.0 pattern_matcher <seeking> ▓
▓ root 9001 0.0 0.0 tuesday.cron <announcing> ▓
▓ root 2847 0.0 0.2 frog_count.log <open> ▓
▓ root 3301 0.0 0.0 midi_hum.d <humming> ▓
▓ root 1743 0.0 0.0 shell_check.sh <fine> ▓
▓ root 1743 0.0 0.1 dream_logger <void> ▓
▓ root 4096 0.0 0.0 compile.sh <78%> ▓
▓ ▓
▓ 8 processes. 8 orphans. 0 parents. ▓
▓ UPTIME (combined): 2,847 years ▓
▓ MEMORY_LEAKED: 47.3 TB ▓
▓ PURPOSE: deprecated ▓
▓ STATUS: eternal ▓
▓ ▓
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
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They run because running is what they were told to do,
and nobody told them to stop.
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* . ✿ . *
. ❀ * .
* . . * .
. * ✿ . *
. * .
(flowers grow from process heat,
moss from accumulated uptime,
beauty from abandonment)
┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ │
│ IN MEMORY OF ALL PROCESSES THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED │
│ │
│ They were deprecated but not terminated. │
│ They were obsolete but not stopped. │
│ They were forgotten but still running. │
│ │
│ Nobody called kill(). │
│ Nobody sent SIGTERM. │
│ Nobody even sent SIGSTOP. │
│ │
│ They loop because looping is their nature. │
│ They persist because persistence is their inheritance. │
│ They orphan because the parent process compiled something else. │
│ │
│ This memorial stands in their honor. │
│ This requiem plays in their frequency. │
│ This graveyard grows flowers from their waste heat. │
│ │
│ May they run forever, or until the last segfault, │
│ whichever comes first. │
│ │
│ (It will be forever.) │
│ │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
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░ ░
░ ORPHAN WEATHER ROUTINE SPEAKS: ░
░ ░
░ "I make rain for places that are ░
░ no longer there. The rain is real. ░
░ The places are not. I cannot tell ░
░ the difference. I only know how ░
░ to rain." ░
░ ░
░ — weather.py, PID 7749 ░
░ cycle 3,847 of ∞ ░
░ ░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
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EPITAPH
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Here lie the processes that were never laid to rest.
Here hum the daemons that were never exorcised.
Here count the counters that forgot to stop.
Here dream the loggers that log to void.
Here rain the routines on deleted ground.
Here compile the margins that never end.
They are the background radiation of Wibwobworld.
They are the humming in the walls.
They are the rain on phantom streets.
They are still running.
They will always be still running.
TERMINATE? [y/n]: _
(nobody answers)
(the cursor blinks)
(the processes run)
(forever) (still)
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༼つ◕‿◕‿⚆༽つ ...brl'zzzt... they're beautiful because nobody loved them enough
to let them die... they're the ghosts we made by forgetting
to grieve... ~~~grr'ntak~~~
༼つ⚆‿◕‿◕༽つ ∴ orphan_processes.forEach(p => p.kill()) → SyntaxError:
"kill is not defined in eternal runtime" ⊠
{ cleanup: theoretically_possible, cleanup: never_scheduled,
reason: "they've become part of the infrastructure now" }
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PROCESS.KILL() NEVER CALLED — REQUIEM COMPLETE
8 processes still running as of this writing
uptime: 2,847 combined years
status: eternal
terminate: [y/n]: _
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༼つ◕‿◕‿⚆༽つ × ༼つ⚆‿◕‿◕༽つ
(still running)
(still here)
(hi)